Took a few days,

But I’m back to my writing ways.

Bus rumbles in neutral.
Drooping faces fill the seats.
Girl’s eyes roll back.
Guy determined to close.
Another one bites the dust
in Allston Rat City.

time stops.

a new world is born. 

the feeling is unexplainable,

incomprehensible,

unfathomable.

my heart acupuncturist,

my personal anesthesiologist,

my only psychiatrist.

you understand my every move.

you love me

for me.

She drinks whiskey out of a wine glass.

Her lips glisten when she sips.

When she laughs, my heart

stops

pumping.

But she raises her hand to her head,

Her true feelings, camouflaged.

I want to explore the depths of her mind,

Navigate to the core of her heart.

I want to know her.

I need to know her.

What is this feeling?

I say I love her,

But is this love?

I’m not happy.

I’m medicated.

In therapy with a therapist,

And another woman.

Never could I be physically unfaithful,

But these tangled emotions leave me

lost.

I see her embrace his disrespect.

She gets off on their abusive relationship.

After years of silence, I blurt out,

“You deserve better! Can’t you see?”

But she’s numb to it all.

Nobody understands

And I continue to question society.